Leadership FAIL
Category Juz4Laughz
Just funny jokes, pictures and anything that is lame you will find it here. Ha ha ha…
The ‘Slumdog’ Van
Check out this cool van!
I couldn’t help but snapped a few shots of it when I passed by it.
Read the funny inscriptions on the side door.
Finally the side view of the van.
I got to hand it to this fella as this best illustrates how excellence and creativity flows freely when we are passionate about something. And he is clearly passionate about his job! =)
My Valentine’s Day SMS
During the Valentine’s Day weekend, I was greeted with a SMS from MINDEF!
As a guy growing up in Singapore, it is as if we are married to our government.
This love-hate relationship begins when we are at the ripe old age of 18 years old. That’s when we go “honeymoon” for two years serving National Service.
After ORD, we still have our regular 1-2 weeks “tryst” or reservist training. If that’s not enough for her, then there’s remedial training!
Damn tough being a guy in Singapore sia… No wonder we don’t make enough babies… LOL
But on a seperate and serious note, read about this latest disturbing news about the world’s youngest boy dad with daughter at 13 years old in England.
Valentine’s Memo Joke
To: All Staff,
As you know, the realities of the downturn have hit home and I am forced to introduce the following cost-cutting measures to help shore up our beloved company.
I know you will understand that the pain is temporary and the gains will be there for all of us to reap when the company comes through these difficult times stronger… and ready to ride the next big wave.
So with immediate effect, all staff will be required to adhere to the following:
a. The cups on the two vending machines are to be recycled. Annabelle has already sterialised them.
b. Sabbatical leave: Executives booked for New York will now go to Kukup in Johor Bahru instead. Senior executives can go further – up to Yong Peng.
c. Our chalet lease in Pulau Ubin has ended. However, as the management takes a keen interest in staff welfare, we have arranged with Francis (from Admin Dept) to rent out one of his rooms at Blk 923, Pasir Ris Drive. His flat was chosen for its proximity to the sea and you can still see Ubin from the window.
d. Entertainment claims: Staff will be required to go for a 30-min demonstration by Raj from Finance Dept, who will show you how to withdraw your credit card slowly from your wallet (58 secs), so that others at a business lunch will inadvertently beat you to it when the bill comes.
e. The Valentine’s Day white chocolates (Deluxeur) which I gave out in January : Those of you who have yet to open the box, please return them expiry date: Dec 2009).
f. Monthly Best Employee Award : The $1000 cash award will now be replaced by a box of Deluxeur white chocolates.
g. Annual Best Employee Award : The 14-day Disneyland/Hawaii tour and solid gold Rolex Oyster watch will be replaced by TWO boxes of Deluxeur white chocolates.
h. Medical: The Oxfordshire-Hopkins Medical Group will no more be on our panel. Annabelle will give you the address of Hong Tong Hong Medical Hall in Sungei Road. Bring you company pass for a 10% discount.
i. Country Club Memberships : Senior executives must return their membership cards to Annabelle, who will then register your name with Bishan Community Centre.
j. Transport Allowance : No reduction of rate! However, it will be paid on alternate months.
k. Gifts for clients : New choices. The Bohemian Crystal list will be replaced by the one from 7-eleven.
l. Annual Dinner & Dance : No change (March 20, yay!), but the venue is switched from The Ritz-Carlton to the void deck of Annabelle’s flat in Ang Mo Kio Avenue 10.
m. Bonus : This time, staff welfare comes first! Instead of the usual amount, we raised it up to $2 million. Each employee will be given a Singapore Sweep ticket. The draw is on March 5.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
From: Chief Financial Officer
How to Get a Car for Valentine’s Day
Now with the COE at an ultra low price, it wouldn’t be so bad to get a car right? Might even make a great gift for Valentine’s =P
Watch how this girl got her boyfriend to buy a car for her. Fierce sia…
This will serve as a good warning for us guys… LOL
Some Jokes about Love and Marriage
With Valentine’s approaching, below are some jokes on love and marriage to set is in the mood amid the doom and gloom:
- It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss
- My wife and I always compromise; I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me
- A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, “If it weren’t for my money, the house wouldn’t be here!”
The wife replied, “My dear, if it weren’t for your money, I wouldn’t be here.”
- When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why
- A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”
And the father replied, “I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it.”
- The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once
- First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!” Second Guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”
- Boring husband: Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Bored wife: Because I married the wrong man!
- When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife
- If you do NOT have a wife – You are missing Some thing in your life
If you have a wife – You are missing So Many things in your life
Spoofs on The Singapore Flyer
Early this week I paid a visit to the Singapore Flyer and found it in a sorry state. It was still closed.
But taking things on a lighter note, here are some pictures taken during the breakdown which were used as a spoof with the Singapore Flyer’s advertising tagline:
Pictures of spoofs courtesy of Ah Gong Hippo’s Blork.
Signs You’re About to Lose Your Job
So we’re in a global economic crisis, our deficit is soaring, and people are being fired in record numbers. Are you nervous that you’ll soon be selling backside?
Well, we can’t entirely remove the anxiety, but we can take some air out of the surprise. Pay attention to these indicators, and you won’t be so shocked when the pink slip comes…
Jokes courtesy of http://www.talkingcock.com
1. You come in to work, and there’s a tissue packet on your chair.
2. The guy who keeps kapo-ing your food from the office fridge now eats it in front of you.
3. Everyone in the office starts being reeeeally nice to you all of a sudden.
4. Those fish on your screen saver are all now floating upside down.
5. Someone has replaced the motivational poster on your wall with one that says, “Life is Just Lan-Lan, Lor.”.
6. Usually, when you make fun of your boss’s botak head, everyone laughs. Now, they just stand around and fidget silently.
7. Scott Adams pops his head into your office and asks if he can include you in the next instalment of ‘Dilbert’.
8. You reach for the stapler and your secretary pulls it away, barking, “Who say you can touch company property?!”
9. The H.R. Department is squatting on the edges of your cubicle, flapping their arms like a crow and going, “Caw! Caw!”
10. Your friends use to call you “Brudder”. Now they call you “Lehman.”
11. Your name is George W. Bush.
12. You are being tried for wearing a kangaroo t-shirt.
13. You just managed an Olympic medal-winning Singaporean sports team.
14. That terrorist you were supposed to guard is taking a damn long time to shee-shee in the jamban.
15. You are not a Minister, MP or civil servant.
What I see…
The “parking lot” for prams. Guess where is this place?
Who Will Be the Next US President?
Uncanny resemblance between the two? Ha ha
It will be exactly two weeks from now that the US and the world will know who will be the next US President to lead for the next four years.
The latest polls from Gallup, the Washington Post, Ipsos and Ramussen put Senator Obama on 52 per cent, 53 per cent, 48 per cent and 50 per cent to Senator McCain’s 42 per cent, 43 per cent, 39 per cent and 36 per cent nationally.
Will it be the Democrat, Mr Barack Obama or the Republican, Mr John McCain?
If you are clueless who they are and what they stand for, you can visit this site for an overview comparison of their plans and policies.
But on a personal note. Whoever it might be, it beats having Mr Bush around. Thanks to his leadership, whoever becomes the next President will inherit a big mess to clean up.
Andrew: Inside & Insights 