Believe it or not…. I used to be very self-conscious. I couldn’t speak in public confidently, especially when all eyes on me.
No, I am not shy. It is more being insecure of what others might think of me.
“Who is this guy??? CMI”
“So boring… *yawn*”
“Yeee… so skinny”
“Why he talk so lousy???”
Ya lor… this sort of negative thoughts would play in my mind whenever I am in front of people.
However God changed me and still is lar…
Some years back, the Holy Spirit revealed this weakness (insecurity) in me through instances when I needed to share my testimony or announcements publicly. I usually ‘tremble’ in front of others. Through this, He allowed me to see how this weakness actually prevented Him from using me effectively as His instrument.
Eventually I understood that I could not fully be His instrument if I caved in to my self-consciousness. I resoluted to be more God-consciousness so that I could be His obedient instrument for He to use to speak His truth and love to others.
I needed the “Just do it!” attitude.
God used His church to train me in my roles that I played in serving others where it was necessary for me to speak publicly. Every time I needed to speak, I prayed for His spirit to speak through me and glorify Jesus.
At school and work, God placed me in situations where I was required to present to classes and to corporate audiences . He really pushed me to the edge.
Last night, God took me up another level by allowing me to teach His word to my Unit people from the usual CG times. This was my first and I will never forget this milestone with Him.
Personally, it is a great privilege to be counted worthy to be used by Him. It is my desire to share His Heart and Word to others wherever He places me so that some might respond to Him and be transformed.
JUST DO IT!