Here’s a dissertation which I think is worth a read to provoke our mindset or attitude in determining the main factor which appeals most to us when we look for in a partner.
What is stronger sexual/physical attraction or spiritual attraction?
If you watch commercials on TV, go to the movies, read magazines or have any contact with the current culture, one would say that sexual attraction is king.
One would easily come to believe that sexual/physical attraction must be the main attraction point between people. Even those who agree that physical attraction is not the core of a relationship will often say that physical attraction must first be present to attract people together and then the spiritual attraction and bonding happens.
As I look at the major romantic relationships that I have had in my life, while I was physically/sexually attractive to each person, I would have to say, that the people whom I were attracted were more attractive because of who they were and not because of how they looked. (….cont’d)
Read the rest of it here>>>
Andrew: Inside & Insights 
Andrew,
Thank-you so very much for posting my writing and a link to my blog. I am truly humbeled and honored by your action. Thank-you very much!
This is excellent!
Exactly the result of the little survey I did with some couples I know. I asked them what are the 3 top things that attracted them to one another. Yes while the guys are a bit more visually oriented, it is still predominant signs of character they must see. The ladies virtually all of them never mention rich, successful and handsome.
Every one of them listed inner qualities such as confidence, good to parents, leadership, kindness, love for others as things that attracted them.
I did the survey after chatting with several guys who says they can’t get married because they are not rich, successful or handsome.
Yes external charm do win people the first glance or even the first date but spiritual qualities or character win a partner for life.
If only guys know and find out what are top 3 qualities each unique girls go for, they an develop those qualities and stand a better chance blessing the future relationships.
And from my perspective the inner qualities may be more develop-able if there’s such a word than many outward qualities such as looks and monetary wealth. People spend too much time focussing on the wrong things without relational returns.
Yes that article will help people so so much!
I think different people look differently, some may seek Godly character man and woman, some may seek the richest, smartest or best of the best.
On the reflect, who can really judge who is more Godly character, richest, smartest or whatsoever. In the all in all, who can judge. People also can make decision based on some perception. But on another reflection, if everyone think the same way, it can be dangerous. Blessed is the God who make everyone different, and everyone unique.
Back to perception, not everyone who carry Bible are Godly christian. Not everyone who carry Gucci, or LV are the richest.
Life is a journey, only you yourself finish it. Whatever you do today, will somehow affect your tomorrow.
just throwing in two cents’ worth.
In my church, I have found that a lot of “eligible bachelors” have been attached/married to girls who look quite plain/average but these girls show inner beauty. These great brothers-in-Christ in my church have chosen these girls over better-looking / sexier girls. I used to wonder what made them choose these girls but not anymore. The girls’ character and personality have made them attractive to their mates.
On another hand, I have often heard some guys complaining that ladies did not love them because they are not rich and/or not handsome. Well, if they are going to hold this kind of attitude, no wonder they are not going places. They are having a very narrow view and making excuses for their own lack of initiative / character / personality. Women are not so shallow. I know of many girls who are pretty and yet they chose guys whom I privately thought are not even average in looks and they also don’t have tons of money. What is more important is what these guys do with the money that they do have (are they spendthrifts? do they save? are they wise in general with money and other resources? do they see long-term and plan long-term or only for short-term enjoyments?) and their character traits.
Many of these girls, according to worldly standards, can “get” richer or more handsome guys but they chose the guy with character and personality.
A case in point is my pastor Jeffrey Chong who has character and a great sense of humour, and his wife Claudia who used to be model and pretty.
Well, some of them look for guy who have certain ranking, CL, UL, whatever L. It’s maybe be true that they may or may not have good character. Only time can tell…
Another thing, if you willing to invest your time with him or her. Sometime, you will feel some of them are sincerely take care of their sheep. But sometime I feel they are insecure, they need some kind of control over people – or else they will feel out of place.
They are too many people who “know” the people. they never understand people. They somehow cannot stand on the point of other, and percept their view are more important. Church is not everything, but God is. Too much of the people are more focused on church than God. They say a lot of Godly characters, but they received something from God – they don’t even say thanks to God, just the nine lepers.
I don’t know, but seem to be no way for people to meet people, especially that kind of people who really suited. I find that Church alway put different people where they cann’t click.
Caesar:
Wah… must have special customised match-making service just for you dan you happy izit??? HAhaha… Okay I see what I can do =p
But on another note… the world is big and should not exist just within the church and as a friend I encourage you to expand your world.
Dun wait for others to build in-roads for you, do it yourself, cos at the end of the day only you can better understand where you really need/want to go.
I am reminded of the story of Jacob, Leah and Rachael. If my memory serves me correctly, Jacob fell in love with Rachel because she was beautiful, but ended up marrying Leah first because she was the eldest sister and because of the custom of the day, he had to marry her first! According to some, Leah wasn’t beautiful at all, but was a sore eye to look upon! Jacob had it both.
Now, I am sure God had in mind to create both physical, mental, emotional and spiritual attractions! However, remember that in heaven we will be given a new body, so if you are beautiful or handsome, it might not last. If you are not, well, I believe God is just and fair so….