Category His & My Story

Spirtual insights and my daily reflections with God in my life. My life is now a shared journey with God. My story is His story.

After 12 years…

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Recently, I replaced my identity card with updated details and photograph.

The old one (on the left) was done near the period of my national service enlistment which explains the botak and beh song (not happy in Hokkien) look.

Now after 12 years, at least I’m smiling and looking more song (happy) in my latest photograph. Ha ha…

The years passed by

As I reflected on the changes, and especially my journey with God through those 12 years, I am amazed and humbled by His wondrous love. 

Like what the third line in verse 4 of Isaiah 54 (see previous entry) speaks of: “You will forget the shame of your youth.” I cannot refute His claims.

Over the years, I have indeed experienced how He has really done that for me.  

The years ahead

This year, my directive and anchor scripture is Isaiah 54:2-4.

God is making it clear to me- to enlarge, stretch, lengthen, strengthen mysef in order to grow towards His expansion over my life for the years ahead.

Though I know the road ahead will be challenging, but I’m confident that God is faithful and true.

I want not only to grow to know the word of God more, but to know the God of the word even more. I don’t want just to be informed, but be transformed. 

I’m not content in merely being inspired by His word, but I pray that I will see every promise He has for me come to pass in my life.

Entering into 2009

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Entering into the new year, God moved in a special way.

It happened during my first weekend church service of 2009.

He is faithful

I was in a posture of worship during the corporate worship segment and I was brought back to flashes of my journey in 2008.

God led me to re-visit the ups and the downs; the successes and the failures; the high-spirited and low-spirited moments I experienced last year.

Those flashbacks were mainly surrounding last year’s second major decision that I had made.

I felt God reaching in and taking my bundle of “emotional burdens” that I had carried for feeling that I had let others down and also from being felt misunderstood by some.

By then, my ‘dam’ was breached and I broke down. I teared uncontrollably because I was  moved by His faithfulness, love and belief in me; through it all.

I’m His precious

Standing where I was in His loving presence, God spoke these re-assuring words to me:

Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
and because I love you,
I will give men in exchange for you,
and people in exchange for your life.

Isaiah 43:4

It’s one thing to know that you’re precious to God from reading the bible or from others but another to ‘hear’ it personally from Him!

God really spoke into my heart and affirmed what was my cry- to do His will. And His will and highest priority is in people especially those who are lost (c.f. Luke 15:4-8).

Though my original plans to church-plant have been pushed back by my move and coupled with other decisions that I have  made,  but more importantly, I now know that my plans have now become His plans.

The divine exchange

I’m convinced that if I truly want to plant a church, it has to be built to last right from the start as it deeply concerns the lives of people; not just their salvation, but  discipleship towards biblical kingdom-living.

His Church should not be built for a ‘flash in a pan’ season just to boost my own ego or to gain satisfaction by making a tick on my list of lifetime goals.

I believe that the Holy Spirit is raising up a new breed and generation of His leaders and churches in this 21st century and I want to be part of that. That is why I’d moved.

In taking this step of faith and obedience, I know He wants  to further equipped me and established me spiritually and practically too.

In exchange for people’s lives, I know I need to stretch myself and grow. The more I grow, the more lives (or at least the chances increases) will be saved.

Thank you God for first paying the price in exchange for my wretched life. Now my life is yours. Use me.

My Bitter-Sweet 2008

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If I may sum up how 2008 has been for me, I would describe it as a bitter-sweet year.

Bitter because of the number of cross-roads I was thrust into where difficult decisions were required of me.

Sweet because after making those decisions, I see myself inching closer towards God and His will for me.

Last year, two major decisions stood out. The first was to call off a relationship and the other was deciding to move to another church.

The course of my love life

The first caused me to lose faith in myself; that I was not worthy to love or to be loved.

I was very close in accepting and believing that I was hopeless and  incapable of  loving someone else.  And that I didn’t deserve to be in any romantic relationship.

But in His goodness and wisdom, He showed me  what I was choosing to accept and believe was not true.

As indicated in my previous entry, some time after that relationship ended He allowed me to cross paths with someone whom I can confidently call my ‘missing piece’.

The course towards His vision

My second major decision had led me to City Harvest Church in the later part of last year in which I had briefly recounted in my past entry.

In regards to this, I have to thank His godly visionary leaders and teachers of His word in A. R. Bernard and Kong Hee.

Through them, God further expanded my horizon and my hunger for the things of God and His Church; the summit of my vision became a plateau towards an even higher summit.

Not only has my faith being radically challenged, my identity in Him has also being renewed and further established.

Moving forward, I’m now armed with a better grasp of His vision (not a church’s) and my calling towards His redemptive plans for this world.

Tasting the sweetness after the bitterness

I think it is fitting to say that God was doing a lot of major ‘underground’ work in re-aligning my life and priorities with His plans in 2008.

“In his heart a man plans his course,
but the LORD determines his steps”

Proverbs 16:9

Many of those decisions that I had to confront emerged unexpectedly. In fact, they were neither part of my plans nor what I thought were God’s intended direction for me.

Like how a train’s destination changes course with a mere switch of lanes, I believe those decisions I had made were  defining ones that will lead me to the destination He wants me to be.

My 2008 in a Glance

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1. My unforgettable answered prayer

It has to be meeting that special someone in early 2008. Not only was it unforgettable, but also an unexpected prayer that was answered almost immediately that caught me totally off-guard. LOL…

2. My greatest breakthrough

In 2008 I had experienced scalability in sharing God’s love with greater influence. Last year alone I had opportunities to share to an audience and two major occasions were on Easter and Christmas.

In my early walk with God, I usually share my testimony in one-to-one sessions more frequently. Now, God has increased that level of outreach where I can share to a wider audience in one single session.

3. My memorable experience

This has got to be the period when I was in the valley of decision-making towards moving to another church. The process was agonising and draining.

That experience was memorable as it was tough in every aspect but also served as a good test on my relationship with God. It also helped me to see the true substance of my love, faith, values and beliefs in Jesus; what my relationship was built upon and whether or not it was dependent on the ‘safety net’ of religious routine, obligations and culture.

4. My happiest and elating moment

It has to be my ‘big brother’, Thomas’ salvation in June 2008. Actually, his salvation is another unforgettable prayer that was answered after more than 8 years. The other has got to be my recent spiritual conversation with my 7-year old niece, Jacqueline.

5. My lessons learnt about God

Never limit God. He is full of surprises and He has great plans that will blow your mind and imagination away if you are open to Him. He is ever-ready to bless us exceedingly and abundantly if we only dare to believe and ask!

6. My lessons learnt about my own-self

I’ve learnt how I cannot stand the status quo. I’ve also realised that I have been gifted with an entrepreneurial spirit which I intend to put to good use for His kingdom purpose.

My Top *09 Fill-In-The-Blank Resolutions

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  1. I will not fall prey and browse on ambiguous sites again, ever.
  2. I will make enough money to fulfill my Arise & Build pledge and to prepare for marriage.
  3. I will spend time to pray more and surf less.
  4. I will finally get my driving license.
  5. I will quit procrastinating on doing the little things, start being enthusiastic in working on them, and eat humble pie.
  6. I will go to church but will not be limited by the church’s vision and be captivated by God’s and His kingdom’s vision.
  7. No more wasteful time over lunches and more catch-up sessions over dinners.
  8. I want to meet my goals for 2009 and bring more of His presence and power down to my world and into others.
  9. I will try to make time for writing a short book.

A Christmas Conversation with a 7-Year Old

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One of the highlights for me during this Christmas period was an interesting conversation that I had with my eldest niece, Jacqueline.

We were at the Christmas Rock event by City Harvest Children’s Church. And this unfolded towards the closing moments.

Jesus is God

“Who is Jesus?”

“Jesus is God.” (me shrieking with glee).

“Oh… so Jesus is like xxxxx.” (she mentioned one Chinese god name which I couldn’t catch)

“Yes, but Jesus is the real (true and living) God and He LOVES you!”

This exchange was going on in Mandarin and I did my best to explain with my limited vocab.

Making theology simple

Shortly after listening to the pastor’s message, she turned to me again and asked, “How come God the Father and Jesus is the same?“

I replied, “Well, its like you and daddy. Both of you are different persons but share the same surname. Likewise, God the Father and Jesus though they are different persons but they are also the same.”

Explaining the theology to a 7-year old can be really challenging. I was not even sure if I replied correctly, but those were the words that was put in my mouth to answer.

Nonetheless, I thank God that my niece’s heart has been spiritually awakened. I pray that those ‘seeds’ of truth will one day bear the fruits of her salvation in Christ.

It is More Blessed to Give Than to Receive

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Despite finding myself becoming more of a ‘boring’ person with each passing Christmas, but on the contrary I actually find my life becoming more exciting.

This year’s Christmas has been very low-key one for me but an extremely meaningful one.

A season of giving

First, I broke my personal record of giving away a total of 100 Christmas gifts to my list of family members, colleagues, church mates, friends and associates.

Whether recession or not, God has blessed me much to be a blessing. I am thankful that I had enough to give as an expression of my sincere love to those around me especially my family.

Second, I served my community. I took time to host a Christmas Party by my Resident’s Committee (RC) for the residents living in Clementi. I found it a great platform for me to use my talent, gifts and skills to serve my neighbours.

On a separate occasion, I joined some of my fellow TOC members to distribute Christmas hampers and gifts to needy residents living at Old Airport Road. It was really satisfying to bless those families with no strings attached as we mentioned nothing of any organisation that we could have been representing.

Personally, this sort of engagement through serving my community is humbling as it puts my life in His perspective with His love.

Blessed to give than to receive

Looking back, I am amazed how God has increased my ability and capacity to give as I walked in His ways over the years.

I know I desire to give more and foresee that He will provide me the scalability or upward mobility in order to be a greater blessing.

“It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

Acts 20:35

Though I no longer bask in parties with all the booze and glitter like how I used to enjoy, but I’ve now discovered the secret of attaining true joy; one that will not fade after the ‘high’ from the partying wears off.

That ‘secret’ is through giving and serving those (regardless of religion, race, gender, age or background) around me.

My Christmas 2008

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Despite the fact that Christmas day (25 December) is not exactly the date that Jesus Christ was born, Christmas still remains to be an extraordinary event that is celebrated world-wide.

My first Christmas

I recalled my first Christmas after receiving Christ. That was 12 years ago. I was in my prison cell.

During Christmas, all prison inmates who were Christians were served with a special dinner.

“Special” meant our normal serving style would be spruced up from white rice to fried rice and additional meat dish. That meal also included a slice of butter cake.

Today, I don’t just celebrate Christmas by treating myself with some special meals. I  celebrate by remembering His grace to me and the Hope He has given to me in living my life to the full.

Towards 2009

This year’s Christmas, I am thankful that I was also given an opportunity during a pre-Christmas gathering to recount my experience in prison where I had encountered God. Hopefully, it had inspired others to know our living and loving God.

In the past, that part of my life was a shame that I hid from others. Now, that part has become a banner that is raised for His glory. Unbelievable.

Like how the Jews observe the Pass Over to remind them of their roots, Christmas never fails to connect me back to His love for me . It serves also as timely annual reminder of the Hope I have in His Son, Jesus Christ as I enter the new year.

On this note, I like to wish everyone a BLESSED CHRISTMAS!